Phil Rowlands

Hello my friends!

This morning, I wanted to take a wander through how the Trinity—the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit—has been a comfort to me over the years. Often, life can be quite lonely. We can be generally lonely, doing life very much with people, family, and friends on the fringes, but still feel lonely. We can be lonely in a marriage, and we can be lonely in a church or workplace due to being different or having circumstances and a life lived that people find it hard to identify with. I believe our Father's heart is for us not to be lonely, but sometimes life seems to be that way for a myriad of reasons.

In my early 30s, I gained full custody of my two boys, who are now grown men. They were ages 9 and 5 at the time. Being a solo single father, although not uncommon, was considerably less likely than being a solo single mother. Statistically speaking, only 15-20% of solo single parents are dads. So, for this reason, I found myself in a very different situation to most other people around me, and it can be a really lonely journey.

God is good, though. He gave me a best friend in my 30s, and we are still good mates today, albeit at a geographical distance, and he was also a single solo dad. I can't consider what life would have been like without him. God knows exactly what we need. We were joined at the hip for years, going on day trips, weekends away, and even holidays with our boys, who were of similar ages.

I come from a relatively cohesive family and have a wonderful relationship with my faith-filled mother. I have always attended churches, so there was activity here and there over the years too. And God has dropped certain friends into my sphere over the years and seasons that have accompanied me on my journey, and I on theirs, for a while. But, although I had lots going on in some ways, in the last 23 years, I have been a single man for 21 of those years, with a brief stumble of a marriage in my late 30s for 18 months. I have now been by myself for 13 years.

What I am getting at here is that Jesus has been right there with me every step of the way. He has been my shoulder to cry on, my discussion partner, my encourager, and has championed me on continuously over the years. The experience of being loved by Jesus is what I want people to encounter, not just a head knowledge of a truth expressed in His word, but a real-deal experiential loving friendship that brings joy to a weary soul and comfort to a troubled mind.

As mentioned in a previous blog, I suffered terribly from anxiety and depression for most of my life. I'm very well now, all things considered. And in my 20s, I was in and out of rehabs due to drug addictions and crazy living. But God turned all that around. He loved on me with His beautiful love, showed me that I was not alone, and that He was my friend as well as my King and Saviour, and He put wonderful people in my life to walk with me as well.

All this being said, life can still be really, really lonely. I had a total burnout 9 years ago, so I don't work anymore, so the whole work colleagues' thing doesn't happen for me. But church fellowship and doing homelessness volunteering here and there, as well as helping to encourage people in the simplicity of the gospel, keeps extreme loneliness at bay. There is just something God-filled and amazing about letting our overflow, overflow; it's therapeutic and healing to our souls and it blesses those around us.

If you are like me, we can spend a lot of time in our own minds because we are alone a lot. So, I find things to do that occupy my mind. But my favourite thing to do is sit in my room each morning, with a few candles burning, and read my Bible, and sing little worship songs with Jesus, and pray for this and pray for that, and have a nice conversation with my very best friend, Jesus. This practice, or behaviour that is a hallmark of who I am, is really what has gotten me through it all and will continue to do so.

I'm quite prophetic, so for many years I've had significant dreams, visions, and thousands of prophetic words. So, it's most likely a bit different for me than for some others when I withdraw from the world, withdraw from the noise, and sit quietly with the Lord. But essentially, Jesus said that “my sheep know my voice”, and we are all sheep of our wonderful shepherd, Jesus Christ. So, if you haven't been hearing from Him, sit with Him quietly day after day, and He will speak to you. Maybe not verbally, but definitely in many different ways He can speak with us. It could be a sense, it could be a thought, it could be a tiny little quiet voice, it could be a picture, or a sound, or a smell. He speaks in a wide variety of sensorial ways, quite magnificent when you think about it.

As a Christian, trying to keep busy to dissolve loneliness will only do half the job, if at all. Loneliness is also a spiritual heart issue, and the only One who can fill the spiritual loneliness is Jesus, and He is more than able to do so. Some of the busiest humans that have ever lived were terribly lonely, and the number one reason is that a relationship with their Heavenly Father is amiss or non-existent. Of course, there can be many other reasons that compound, but essentially, a non-relationship with your Father in Heaven leaves you wide open to that empty feeling.

My encouragement today, amongst all that I have poured out here, is that Jesus can be trusted to be your best friend. He'll never leave you nor forsake you. He will always be there in every valley and in every tragic circumstance. He will never, ever let you down. You are in Christ Jesus, and His love for you was established before the foundations of the earth itself. Man cannot separate, no, not ever, what God has joined together.

So, be blessed today, my friends. Take heart and be encouraged that no matter where you are in life, no matter your circumstance, no matter the number of friends you have around you, first seek Him. If you need more people in your life to encourage you or walk with you, let that be a cry of your heart in prayer with Jesus. Be honest with Him. Tell Him what hurts, what you are feeling. Yes, He already knows, but it is just so powerful when we have these open and honest conversations with our Lord who loves us so wonderfully and unconditionally. Thank you, Jesus, for always being there with me and for me, and thank you that You are the same for every reader here today.

Phil