Phil Rowlands

Hello my friends!

Many years ago, back in the extreme turmoil of the past, I had the most beautiful, delightful, and emotional encounter with Jesus. In my late 20s, I found myself in a position where I had to move out of the home I lived in with my wife and two boys. We had been married for about 12 months after approximately 6 years of on-and-off proximity to each other. We both had severe drug addiction issues at times. We both came to know Jesus, first me, then her, hence our marriage after years of turmoil.

Things weren't good at home. I wanted to live drug-free, and she was still trapped once again in a terrible addiction. So, one day I said I had to leave, temporarily I thought, and she was okay with that as her mind was just on the next score. I sat my eldest boy down and discussed it with him; he was only 4 at the time, and his little brother was not yet a year old. As I told him, tears ran down his face, and he said, “Dad, water is coming out of my eyes.” He didn't really understand what was going on; his little heart was breaking right before my eyes. I left that day with a bag of clothes, and unbeknownst to me at the time, I was never to return.

I was fellowshipping in a church up the mountain and had been there for a number of years. It's the church where I met Jesus. I had started an apprenticeship with a carpenter there, and he let me move into his carport, which only had three sides. So, he and I built a room down the back, and I set it up really nicely for myself. I now had somewhere to stay where I could try to remain drug-free and be some sort of proper dad to my boys, as I had been for most of my eldest boy's life.

One night, I was sitting there in the dark, overwhelmed with grief, sobbing with such heartache that I struggled to get a breath. I felt like my insides were being torn out. All of a sudden, I felt a presence enter that dark room, and the darkness became a few shades lighter, if you can imagine that. As I sat there still upset, I felt this presence coming closer and closer to me, and as the presence closed in on me, all the hair started to stand up on my body, and I could feel this power running through me, bringing warmth, reassurance, and a sort of peace and calmness. As this presence finally came right up to me, He—my Jesus, that's right, Jesus—came to see me in my darkest time that night, and He said to me, “Hush, little lamb, it's going to be alright.”

I settled down after that and went off to sleep, still with the rawness of my life flushing through my mind and soul. That night, Jesus revealed Himself in an almost tangible and physical form and revealed a wonderful truth to me that has carried in my heart ever since—He comes to us, He is for us, and He cares for us in ways that we cannot fathom sometimes. At this time in my Christian faith journey, I didn't know much about my identity as a son of God or who I was in Christ Jesus, but I thank God for these supernatural encounters that fed me, uplifted me, and carried me along.

After that, life was intermittently crazy. I fell in and out of drug addiction, and despair was often a place I visited, but Jesus was always holding me. He never let me go. I went through a bunch of rehabs, and then my final rehab, He came to see me again, but in a different way.

I was up in the country in a rehab program for 6 weeks, stuck in addiction again and couldn't break free, so I was admitted to yet another rehab, and it was hard going. But one night, as I slept, I was woken. All around me was light, and I could see angels all around me, and the mattress I slept on was full of light. It was just so beautiful; again, my Jesus came to me to rescue me. Normally, as I detoxed from drugs, I would sweat profusely, especially at night, but not this time. I was supernaturally delivered from the detox part of my detox; it was more the emotional things I needed to work through, and to be honest, I'm still dealing with that in my 50s. I've been drug-free for 23 years, and I'm in a super peaceful and rested place in life these days, but the renewing of the mind never stops. We are further established in grace day by day and for the better as we are being drawn forward in our faith walk, with Jesus in us and around us, walking with us and being there for us every step of the way.

When we look at how Jesus comes to us, firstly, He came to earth to rescue us from ourselves, from our unrighteousness, from a life of death, and from a life that could not enter eternity or experience His kingdom in our hearts here on earth.

It was the Father who called us, who first loved us, and it is the Father who gave His Son to become our redeemer, our wonderful, good shepherd. We are His sons and daughters, and He is always coming to us, always leaning into our lives, always meeting our needs, and providing for our brand-new days.

He comes to us in prayer, in worship, in dreams and visions, in healing both emotionally and physically, and sometimes He comes to us manifestly, almost tangibly. I especially love it when He blankets us in the weight of His glory; those moments are just so precious to me.

Be blessed today, my friends. Open up your hearts wide to His coming. He always comes to us, and He always will, for His Father, our Father, breathed life into you, and He regenerated that life to be His sons and daughters, where His coming to you is just what He does. Yes, His presence is in you via the Holy Spirit 24/7, but He comes to you as the person of Jesus too. He just loves to come and be present with His beloved, especially in our troubled times, our times of need.

Thank you, Jesus, for always being there, always being closer than a brother, always the icebreaker, always softening our hearts again and again, so the hearts of flesh you gave us in lieu of hearts of stone remain good ground, remain pliable and movable with your Spirit of Grace and wonder.

Phil